Why I Write

I had a conversation recently with a fellow writer, who is just as passionate about writing as I am. We talked about the power of our words. It inspired me to write this blog post. I took the time as I was a part of traffic going home, going less than 5mph, to reflect on my writing journey.

It all began when I was a child. I was obsessed with diaries. You know, the ones with a lock and a key? I kept mine under my pillow and would write in it often. Or maybe just draw a picture. Either way, it was mine and no one was allowed in it.

As I got older, into my later Middle/High School years, I started writing poetry. I found a sense of accomplishment finishing a poem that meant something to me. I shared my poems with my family, often proud of myself. I still to this day enjoy writing a little poetry. I had many journals with many poems in it. I don't even remember what I wrote about, but I remember how I felt when writing it.

My joy for writing hit a rough patch in High School. I was a part of a very intense instructional program during my junior and senior year. School was always pretty easy for me until my experience in the International Baccalaureate Program. Writing no longer was fun. It was hard, like really hard. There was a rating scale, that I often struggled getting past below average. It was analyzing/inferencing books, debating topics, and siting after siting, that I lost my joy for writing. It became more of a project and not a fun one might I add.

It wasn't until my Junior year in college that I found my joy for writing again. But this time it was writing for pure self expression and acted as an emotional support. I went through a very difficult breakup. I was unable to function like a normal human being for most of my Junior year. I stopped eating, I was skipping my classes, I slept all day, stayed up all night, drank wayyyy too much, and went to weekly therapy sessions. My therapist encouraged me to get a journal, any journal and when I have trouble sleeping, or I can't stop crying, or even when I am happy and experiencing joy, write about it. So that is what I did. I wrote, ABOUT EVERYTHING. It was very healing for me. For the first time ever, writing became more than just a way to write creatively and academically, but a way to write my deepest thoughts and feelings and truly understand who I was, what I was going through, and connect with myself. I would take the time to reread what I wrote too. Moments that brought me to tears, rereading my struggles, but also how far I've come in my healing journey. Junior year in college was a life changing year for me.

I continued to write in journals, and encouraged others to do the same. My first blog experience was in 2014-2016, I shared my Jaw surgery journey. I wrote about the before (braces), during (surgery), and after (recovery). It helped me work through the difficult experience, and also share with others. I wrote a blog in 2017 sharing my running experience as I was training for my first half marathon. That was fun and what an accomplishment it was to write the final post when I completed my first half. That one I cried, happy tears, because I was so proud of myself. That blog acted as my motivator.

And finally, I am currently on my 3rd blogging experience, writing about all things of me, but mostly my experience as a mother. I started this in 2022. My current blog began because I was struggling. I had two babies under two and I was not okay. I struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety. I felt very judged and criticized as a mother. I often felt inadequate and questioned my own judgement. I felt like I couldn't find the joy in motherhood. So I started writing a blog about my experience, mostly good because I wanted to bring back the new mom spark I once had and start celebrating the small moments. But also to be very transparent and honest about my journey as a new mom, especially a new mom of two. I thought that if I was experiencing this, there must be someone else experiencing it. And maybe my words can inspire others. Along with healing myself.

Like many things in our life, there's always a journey. Writing is a huge journey in my life. A journey I am very proud of. A journey I was meant to be on. Writing in a lot of ways, saved me. It gave me a voice I never thought I had. It gave me the confidence to write things I struggle saying out loud. When I write, I am my most authentic self.

I have learned a lot about what it means to share your writing too. Especially publicly. When I started my blogging journey as a SAHM, I thought that my words would be understood by everyone. For the most part, it was. But there were moments and certain blog posts that triggered some readers. I was misunderstood. I had to learn to be okay with that. That humbled me real quick. I had to learn that readers are going to perceive my words the way they want to perceive them. I cannot control that. What I can control is why I write. I write for myself. I write to share my story. I write to share a message that's important to me. I write to inspire. Also knowing that people reading what I write can relate to it. Maybe it is what I experienced, or an encouraging statement, or just simply how I feel. Writing can connect people.

So if you have been on this journey with me from the very beginning, thank you. If you peek in to read a few posts here and there, thank you. If you shared my posts, thank you. Your support means the world to me. I can see on my end where all my readers are coming from which is really cool. I have had readers from US: Florida, New York, Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, DC, Arizona, California, Kentucky, Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Georgia (I can even see specific cities too in each state!!!) Like, how cool is that, right?!? AND Out of US: Germany, UK, Canada, Ireland and the list goes on. Those are my reader locations from the past year. And that is just awesome. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I have grown as a writer. I have grown as a mom. I have grown as a wife. I have grown as an individual. This journey is just the beginning for me.

If you haven't done so yet, I encourage you to get a notebook and a pen (or pencil) and sit down in a quiet place and just write. You'll start to see how freeing it is and then let me know how it goes. I'd love to chat about your writing journey.

As always, thank you so much for being here.

Susana