The Inevitable

I have experienced recently, the most unfortunate pain. And as a parent so far, it is the most challenging experience as a mom and as a wife.

Earlier this week, we had to say goodbye to our almost 8-year-old Great Dane. It happened really fast, within a week. We got many opinions of how we should handle the situation, that it was maybe just a injury, or he had a tumor in his stomach, but it was benign, or just the fact that he needs some rest and he will be fine. But that was not the case. It was more serious than what we thought.

After an MRI, there was an infectious lesion that was found in his neck. We knew he was experiencing pain because he was refusing to go to the bathroom, he was refusing to eat. He was refusing to drink, he was also throwing himself headfirst on his bed and didn’t want to move. This was very uncommon for him as he was a very active older Great Dane. It was scary and sad all at the same time. My husband and I knew that his life was coming to an end. We did have the option after the MRI to consider a couple weeks of steroids and antibiotics. That he could stay in the animal hospital during that time and it was possible that he could respond to it. But it was maybe a 50/50 chance. It was a possibility too that it could’ve been cancerous. But we wouldn’t have known until after the couple weeks of the test with the steroids and anabiotic’s because if he didn’t respond to it, then it was definitely cancerous. Ultimately, our decision to put him down, came to quality of life. Because even after all the tests he still would not have had the same active life that he had before.

On March 10, 2025, we went to the animal hospital later in the afternoon and we took our girls with us because we had no one else here to watch them. The animal hospital secretary took us to a very low lit, quiet, peaceful room. They brought Bruce in and lowered him to the ground because he was laying on a stretcher. And we said our goodbyes. He was still there, but unable to move. He was clearly still in a lot of pain, even after heavy meds that the neurologist gave him before. He was looking at it at us, recognizing us. He even tried to give my husband his paw after my husband said “paw”. That was something that they did often together. After we said our goodbyes, it was time for the neurologist to come in and went through the process of euthanizing him. At this time, my girls who are four and three were sitting on the couch, saying their goodbyes, but not really understanding what was happening because our dog was still there his eyes were still open, even though he wasn’t moving. So after he was euthanized, my husband is inconsolable and I am completely heartbroken. It was one of the saddest moments that my husband and I faced together as husband and wife. But it was even harder because our three year-old and four-year-old was right there with us. My four-year-old sat on my lap and looked at our recently passed Great Dane, and said “are we going to take him home now?” I said “no honey he’s not coming home with us. What happened was we gave him something so that we can relieve the pain from his body and it caused his heart to stop beating and that he is no longer breathing. So he is still here, but not breathing anymore.” After I explained that to her, which was very difficult for me to do, she started to ask questions like “so we’re not gonna be able to pet him anymore? See him anymore? Take him home with us?” And I said “no this is your last time you’re going to see him.” That was when it clicked. The fact that he was no longer with us, but still physically there. And then she started to cry, and she cried the whole way out of the room, she cried in the parking lot and the whole way home. It was so difficult to keep myself regulated because I was also extremely sad while also trying to emotionally support my husband, while being there for my daughter and giving her a life lesson that there’s life and then there’s death. This was her first experience experiencing death and although it’s just an animal, it’s still a huge part of our family. It was a very hard thing for me to have to experience as a parent and support my four-year-old feel that kind of pain.

It is now a few days after, and the house feels very empty. We do have a puppy who has helped fill the void a little bit, but with the unexpected death of our Great Dane, the pain is sitting with us. If it was a situation where we felt more prepared and had more time to process it, I think we would be more accepting of it. But the fact that it happened so quickly and he declined so quickly and that he was in so much pain, it made it harder. We’re still in shock. As if it’s not real.

Losing a pet is hard. It’s always gonna leave a hole in our hearts. I am getting to the point where I’m trying to think positive that we relieved his pain and he’s no longer suffering. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Especially when there are kids involved that are now starting to remember things and are asking a lot of questions.

If you have ever experienced anything like this with your kids, I’d love to talk to you about it. This situation is difficult in so many ways. It is also nice to hear how others have dealt with it especially with kids involved.

Thank you so much for reading and for your support on my blog.

Susana.