As most of you know already, I am a stay at home mom and have been since Summer of 2021. I left teaching to be home with my very young little girls. After a year of experience as a SAHM, I've learned a lot, grown a lot, and have no regret leaving the classroom. I know at this point in my life, staying home with my girls is what I am supposed to be doing right now.
Last week, was my first vacation with my little family of 4 after a year of leaving the classroom and staying home with my girls. I had a vacation last summer in 2021 with my little family, but it wasn't the same. My second daughter was not born yet. Life is very different from having one kid to two. Things have been a little more chaotic. Also, I just finished the school year, so it just felt like summer vacation to me. Being a SAHM didn't really kick into full gear until the new school year started in August of 2021 and my second was born in the beginning of September of 2021.
By definition, Vacation means, "a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday". That is what Vacation used to mean to me. Before kids, we would plan vacation with my family, or just my husband and myself and travel somewhere. We would typically try to plan it over the summer because I was off school, either as a kid, teenager, college student, or teacher. So basically my entire life. Vacation was always over the summer or over a Holiday break. As a teacher, it was very difficult to take days off during the school year. Time to have a vacation was only in one part of the year. Vacation felt like "a period of suspension of work or study". It was my break and to get away from home for a bit and spend some quality time with family.
Every day as a SAHM is about the same routine. We wake up, eat, play, eat, play, sleep, eat, play, eat, play, sleep. We have a pretty decent schedule that is predictable for the girls and for myself. And if I were to step out of the house when my husband is home to take care of them, he follows the same routine. I wouldn't consider being a SAHM a job because obviously I don't get paid for it, but also because it is a life choice. I chose to be a mom and I chose to stay home with them. What I do every single day is my lifestyle. It is my choice, it is my duty as their mother to keep them healthy and happy. If I were a working mom (which I was for a school year), I would have the same routine and lifestyle, just with a job during the day. Staying home just means I'm taking care of my girls without a job.
Since my routine with the girls is very predictable every day and it works for us, we chose to keep the same routine on vacation. Based on the definition I shared earlier, vacation being the "suspension of work or study" is not my kind of vacation. I still do what I do at home, just at another location and with the help of my husband. So there is no "suspension" of anything. If I were to travel away with just my husband without the girls, then absolutely, that definition would define my vacation. However, the vacation I recently went on last week was not like that. It was a trip with all 4 of us. My husband, myself, my two year old, and my one year old. We placed our Great Dane in a kennel. The vacation we had last week, even though I did exactly what I do at home was so special. What made it special was my husband. My definition of vacation now being a SAHM mom is "time with my husband, time with daddy". My husband works a lot. He wakes up at 3:30am to leave for work before 4am. He does this 3 days a week. His travel to work is about 75 miles. The other two days, he works from home but keeps himself in a room. We still barely see him. Those days are shorter for him because he doesn't have to commute to work. He also coaches cross country, he's a marathoner and recently started his own YouTube channel. So if he isn't coaching, he's running. If he isn't running, he's editing. All while being home with the girls in the evening, spends time with the girls while I make dinner, does bath time and bedtime routine with me, and then goes to sleep between 8:30-9pm. His time with the girls is very limited, and his time with me is even less. Our vacation last week meant more time with him. He needed the break from work, the "suspension", but we needed the time with him.
So even though our routine was the same on vacation, we still did what we could to enjoy ourselves. Before our one year old's nap time, we would find a nice path, or a beach to enjoy some outside nature. During nap, my husband would either run or fish on the private dock. After nap, we would either make dinner at the house or go out to a restaurant. I know that as the girls get older, we will be able to do more, but at this point in our lives, it's okay if vacation is not packed full with a whole bunch of things to do to entertain the girls. It's a week being with my husband, and the girls being with their daddy 24/7, just like they are with me every single day.
This is why we chose last year after our vacation to the beach with my first and when I was pregnant with my second that at least one vacation every year will just be the four of us. No other family members or friends. It is important to us to have that time together. We will of course plan other trips with family and friends, but one is devoted to just us. This year's vacation confirmed why it is so important to make that happen every year. My girls were so attached to their daddy during the week. They got more of him than they have their entire lives. They may be too young to understand, but it was definitely special and I could tell a difference in their energy because of it. It was also nice because I did not feel like I had to do everything like I do at home. If a meltdown occurred, or it was breakfast, lunch or dinner time, my husband and I would divide and conquer. For example, at a outdoor restaurant we went to towards the end of the vacation, my husband had our two year old, and I had our one year old at the table. My one year old started to get very cranky. So we took turns eating our food. When my husband was eating, I was keeping our one year old calm. When I was eating, my husband was keeping her calm. You do what you gotta do to not disturb others, right? If I were by myself, that would not have been possible. Actually, I would never go to a restaurant by myself with my two young girls. Not yet at least. It was just really nice to have that extra help.
Now that my husband is back to work this week, and we are back to our everyday lives, I appreciate last week's vacation even more. And now I'm excited for next year's vacation with just the four of us. A week just isn't enough but may be the best week of the year!
Any other SAHMs or working moms can relate to this? Let me know! I added a few pictures below of our vacation and the special time we had together.
Thank you so much for reading!
~Susana
Comments