How it all began:
Before I start talking about my SAHM life, I'm gonna share a little bit about myself first and why I decided to become a stay at home mom.
For those of you that know me, I was a teacher prior to becoming a stay at home mom. I graduated college, worked at a childcare center for 9 months, left that job to come home and start subbing in my home school district. Worked in multiple long-term positions for about a year, became an intervention teacher. Then I was finally hired in August of 2014 to work as a first grade teacher at a nearby elementary school. I taught 7 school years, 3 in first grade, 4 in second grade. I also want to add that during my 7 years of teaching, I was working on my masters in Educational Leadership. I worked on that for 4 years, completing the program the last week of April 2020. I started out as a teacher with so much enthusiasm and passion for the job. It felt as if every year, I lost a little bit of that passion. Once COVID hit and things had changed dramatically, I completely lost all passion.
I had my first baby during this time, she was born in May of 2020. Being on maternity leave was no "vacation" but after leaving one of the most difficult and stressful situations I have ever been in as a teacher, honestly, maternity leave felt like a vacation. I spent the entire summer with my daughter, so incredibly in love with this new life of mine.
Over the summer, not only were we adjusting to our new life as parents but we also put our house on the market, sold it within a month, packed up our entire house in like a week, moved in with my in-laws, and the building of our new house begun. It was a crazy summer. So when the new school year approached, I was not mentally ready. We struggled to find childcare too. No one at that time were taking in very young infants, so we were without childcare. My husband already had several interviews for a new job but nothing set in stone yet. I wanted to stay home with my girl, but we could not financially make it happen. So we somehow convinced my mother in-law to watch her full time until we moved into our new house, and then hired my sister as a part-time nanny and my mother in-law had her part-time too. We were lucky that family came through for us. My husband got his new job in October 2020 and all of a sudden, becoming a stay at home mom became an option for me. It was very exciting to think that it was even an option because it never was before just a desire. December 2020, I found out I was pregnant. The moment we found out, my husband and I immediately agreed, I would be a stay at home mom by the time baby #2 was born. So finish the school year and then begin the next chapter of my life as a stay at home mom. That is exactly what we did. My 2nd baby was born in September of 2021. Perfect timing because that was the beginning of the next school year. I didn't even have time to think about missing a school year because I had another baby. My mind wasn't even thinking about school.
My Stay at Home Mom Life:
Being home with my girls is such a blessing. Right now my oldest is 2, and my youngest is 10 months. I am glad I decided to be a stay at home mom by the time my second was born because she was a very difficult newborn. She had acid reflux and required to be upright after every feeding. We tried different formulas until we found one that allowed her food to stay down. It was a struggle but with that change and making sure she got plenty of sleep, her crankiness was manageable. I could not imagine going through all that and working. My school district would have only allowed me 6 weeks of maternity leave. Definitely, not a lot of time. Plus we would have had to figure out childcare. It just didn't make sense to me to do that if we were financially able for me to stay home.
Here a few things I absolutely LOVE about being a stay at home mom:
I created my own schedule. Maybe it's the teacher in me but I LOVE SCHEDULES!!! I feel at ease when my day is predictable and I truly believe it is what's best for young children as well too. With two very little ones, having a schedule made things a lot less stressful, predictable for them, and manageable for me. Especially, when my husband went back to work after 6 weeks.
During down time, whenever there was (depending on baby #2's naps), I had the flexibility to choose what to do. If my second was awake, we could go outside, or play with her special toys. If both were sleeping, I could sit down and enjoy my favorite sitcom. Maybe even nap myself or take a quick shower. No matter what I chose to do, it was my time to reset and recharge.
I have more time for lunch. As a teacher, you are given 30 minutes. In that 30 minutes is transition time, bathroom breaks, heating up food, checking email, picking up kids from cafeteria, etc. You really never get a full 30 minutes. Now with my girls being older, we have a set lunch time, and I get to eat with them. It is so nice. We have our lunch together and then wind down before nap time. I don't feel rushed at all.
I can go outside whenever I want.
When my girls are sick, I don't have to worry getting work covered while I stay home with my girls. Or trying to figure out the best time to go to the doctor.
I can sit and enjoy my coffee while my girls play.
I see everything my girls are doing and learning to do. When one of them do something new, I take a picture or record a video to share with my husband. That way he doesn't miss it.
Some things I did not expect when becoming a stay at home mom:
I did not realize how isolating it would be. I thought I would keep a lot of my teacher friends. Stay in touch and hang out when we can. That is not what happened. I actually feel like I lost a lot of my teacher friends. We have different lives, nothing much in common anymore (since most we had in common was our job), and we lost touch.
I thought I would have all the time in the world to clean. Yea.... no. I have come up with a routine to keep up with it, but not like I thought it would be. I was trying to do it all in the beginning. So I had to prioritize.
I do not get a lot of visitors, so there are some days I feel very lonely. My husband tries to come home from work earlier which is nice, but during the day when he's gone or in his office working from home, I do not get a lot of adult interaction.
Dinner time is my "break" time. Never thought I would say that! I plan dinner a month in advance. It helps me manage groceries, but also have a dinner to look forward to make during the week. I do not do ANY cooking on the weekend. So when it is time to cook dinner, I am always the one to do it. I want to do it. That is the time my husband gets alone with our girls too which is incredibly important for him to have.
I have time to do super quick showers and that's it. I can wake up an hour earlier to fully get ready for the day, but um...no. I am not doing that. I choose sleep. If I'm home all day, why would I wake up an hour earlier to get ready. Ready for what? There are days I do a little more to my face (makeup), but if I shower and brush my teeth before the kids wake up, that is a win for me.
Having a very large dog with two very little children is a little much. I love our Great Dane, I do. But being with him all day, I have zero patience for him. He is a very needy dog.
That is basically it. Being a stay at home mom is such a blessing. This time is so special. I know it will only be a few years because I will go back to work one day (just not the classroom), but I'm trying to cherish every moment I have with my girls now. Even on the days that seem almost impossible to get through. Sometimes a nice walk or shower does the trick. The days really do feel sooooo long. But most of the time, in a good way. I love my girls so much. I love watching them grow and learn together. Their relationship is changing, their bond is changing, and I get to watch that all day, every day. It is the most precious thing to sit back and watch the two of them interact.
I do also want to mention that the only reason I am able to stay home is the support of my husband. We agreed to do this and he taking on full financial responsibilities. We are a team. And having that support from him makes a difference. He doesn't make me feel less than I am now that I am not making money. He may joke about it occasionally (if you know my husband, you know his personality) but I know he appreciates what I do for our family, just like I appreciate him. We may have different roles in taking care of our family at this point in our marriage, but it works. And that I feel very fortunate about.
Thank you so much for reading!
Love Always,
Susana
Comments