November 3, 2023:
It doesn't happen often, but when I get a day to myself, no kids, no husband, no friends, no family, just me, it's pretty special. I believe that anyone, no matter age, or occupation, or season of life we're in, deserve solo time. A few hours or an entire day with just yourself. I had the privilege to have that today and here's what I did to enjoy myself and take a mental break.
I woke up early. Maybe not as early for some but early for me. I woke up at 5:45am to get changed, do my quick morning routine and get on the road. I woke up before everyone else in the house, so I didn't have any disruption. I had to drive almost 2 hours to my old house to finish packing last minute things. I get a Starbucks coffee and then a McDonald's breakfast sandwich and then on my way. During the drive, I listened to my favorite podcast. If you're interested in podcasts especially light hearted mommy podcasts, I like to listen to "Big Fat Positive". I've been listening to it since I found out I was pregnant with my first in 2019. So almost 4 years of listening. They're so funny and relatable! Highly recommend. I don't get to listen to my podcast often, solo car rides is when I like to take full advantage of it.
I get to the house and walk around the empty house to see what needs to be done. The last time I was here I drove my girls up with me, my first vomited in the car and my second cried the whole way. So today was a treat. I was able to drive here and not have to deal with any issues. I was on my own time, how glorious. Honestly, this house felt weird empty but gave me a bit of comfort walking through it. I walked through each room to see what needed to be picked up but also looking at the purpose of what each room was for us and the memories held within it.
I'm currently sitting here in an empty room, taking a break and enjoying the silence. This silence is rare to come by these days. I definitely took it for granted during my kidless days. It's so peaceful. Having this kind of silence you'd think would be unsettling, but for me right now it's giving me the opportunity to breathe in my life and take a moment to reflect on my little blessings.
I lived in this house for almost three years. I raised a baby here and had another baby here. I lost a grandfather while living here, almost lost my mom. We were sick with COVID. We lost a pet here too. We built a deck, finished a basement, put in a fence, painted all the walls, painted the kitchen cabinets, replaced the main flooring. 3 really life changing years of our life were in this house. The many parties/celebrations we hosted. This house was special to our little family. To sit here and think of all that in complete silence when it's completely empty is something I did not expect I'd be able to do. This house will always hold a very special place in our hearts. But, it's time to leave.
That's the thing though. Although I'll miss it, and I sit here proud of everything that's happened in this house and what we did to the house. It's time. And I'm ready to say goodbye. Sitting here, without kids, without my husband, just myself, I feel like I am getting the closure I needed to say goodbye to this house.
September 2, 2024:
I read back what I felt on my solo day and my heart feels for that “me” in November of 2023. I appreciated the silence, and embraced the change. I woke up early to beat the noise and found the positive in driving solo for a total of 4 hours that day. I miss that house and the memories in it but love more where I am now.
Change can be a good or bad thing. At that time, I took the time to say goodbye. Alone. I didn’t know what the future held for us, I didn’t know anything really. All I knew at that time was I was saying goodbye to a chapter in my life I was moving on from. I felt it, I was in my emotions, I embraced it and now almost 10 months later, I am proud of it.
Solo days may look different for everyone. I like to take my solo days to be in all my feelings. It is an opportunity to slow down and reflect on my life and who I want to be. I recently went on a friends trip but the beginning and end of the trip, I was solo traveling. It was absolutely amazing and good for my soul. If you have never taken a solo trip, especially after becoming a mom. Or even just a solo drive. It is a game changer and I highly recommend it.
What do you like to do on your solo car rides or solo trips? Let me know, I’d love to chat about it!
Thanks so much for reading!
Susana
Comments