There's a few little changes I have recently made that has changed my day and my family's day dramatically. I'd like to share them with you because it's made an impact on all of us, maybe making the same changes will make an impact on you.
Waking up earlier:
I used to wake up right before getting my girls up. Thought I needed as much sleep as possible. I'd wake up frazzled and anxious because I started my day with high energy. I knew I needed to make a change and needed to start my day connecting with myself first. I started waking up an hour and a half before getting the girls up and wow, what a difference. It's so peaceful in the morning. I use this time to drink my coffee, maybe start a load of laundry, wash my face or shower, read or just stare out the window as the sun comes up. It's still very new to me but eventually I would like to start walking or doing my 20 minute workout in the morning. No matter how I choose to use this extra time, it's been really good for my mental health.
Going to bed earlier:
Along with waking up early, I also go to bed earlier too. I set an alarm 15 minutes before I want to be in bed to stop what I'm doing whether it's reading or watching a show and get ready for bed. The time I choose to go to bed and my next day wake up time guarantees 8hrs. I have noticed a difference in my energy the next day. I noticed a difference in my mental clarity. I noticed a difference with how I handle conflict. I am also more on top of my to-do list. The combo going to bed earlier/waking up earlier has been the most affective change I've made so far.
Connecting Before Going to Sleep:
We were struggling with bedtime with our girls. Lots of tears. The separation anxiety was in full effect for both girls. I didn't like ending each wonderful day on a negative note, so my husband and I decided to make a bedtime change. We all read books together and say goodnight together. But instead of all of us putting my two year old to bed and then putting my three year old to bed, my husband takes my three year old and puts her to bed and I take my two year old to bed. This is where we made a change and focused on connection right before bed. With my two year old, I take her in her room, she turns on her white noise and turns off her light and we sit in her chair and just talk. We talk about her day, what she ate that day, what made her feel happy, sad, angry, etc. Every night the conversation is different but the questions are the same. We then put chapstick on her because she is in a chapstick phase, and I then either give her a hug or sing to her or we talk some more before putting her in her crib. During this time, Daddy comes in and gives her a hug and kiss and says goodnight. She looks forward to this. I put her in bed and we talk some more, and she is happy and ready to sleep.
My husband during that time does something similar with my 3 year old, gets her tucked in bed. But she doesn't go to sleep yet. Instead, she waits for me. When I'm done with my two year old, I then pop into my 3 year old's room and I kneel down right next to her as she's lying in her bed and we have a conversation about her day. Their day ends with one on one connection with Mommy. It has made bedtime more efficient and more positive. The girls get the attention they crave and there is zero separation anxiety. It also helps my mom heart because the crying just made me feel so guilty to say goodnight to them. This change although so small, has made a huge impact on the relationship I have with my girls. That little extra effort and that little extra one on one time can make the biggest difference.
Art Cart:
This is probably my girls favorite thing and they look forward to it every day. I have a rolling cart that I used in my old classroom. It's a really nice pretty colored 3 shelf cart that I chose to use to store art supplies. There was a point I just didn't know where to put all our art things. We were getting more from family and friends as gifts for the girls and I had no where to put it. So I created an art cart. I often reset this art cart or refill when needed. It keeps it interesting. Over time I've added more to it. Right now it consists of stamps, markers and solid white paper, mess free markers, sticker faces, coloring books with coloring pencils and crayons and a large table cover that I lay on the floor or over the table. I have other art supplies that aren't on the art cart. For example, paint. I have the paint in a bin in the garage. I only take it out when necessary. I also have Dot Markers and that is separate in the playroom. The art cart is everything else. It keeps things organized, easy to clean up and put away, and easy to see all the art supplies as one to pick what to do. You can get a super cheap cart from Amazon or Walmart. I got mine from Amazon and organize however you like incorporating the art interests of your children.
Food Menu:
This may be an unpopular opinion, but I don't feed my girls everything I make for dinner. At this age, they are incredibly picky. What they like one day, they won't like the next. Dinner time was becoming so incredibly frustrating. Now this is a work in progress and I'm not completely finished yet, but I have made a breakfast, lunch and dinner menu for my girls. They can choose what they want for dinner. On the menu, I have pictures of their favorite foods and fruits and veggies. They can look at the pictures on the menu and tell me what they want during the time I am prepping for mealtime. I started this but like I said not finished yet. So far, it's been going pretty well, I don't have the menus printed yet. I'll have to order the print as I don't have a printer here at home. But either way, just by looking at the document on my phone and asking "what do you want for dinner", it has worked and they are eating more at dinner and less frustration. I honestly don't care if they eat what I make for my husband and I, sometimes they do. They love Taco night and anything pasta. I realized I'd rather have my kids fed and happy instead of forcing them to eat what I make causing a very exhausting dinner time. Fed is best and making dinner a positive experience is more important to me. As they get older this will change, but for toddlers, it's working for us.
Drink Fridge:
We are a drink family. You name it? We probably have it. We had a drink fridge at our old house but it was smaller and not as organized. When we moved to our new home, there was already an older fridge in the garage. A bigger one than what we had at our old house. I have recently organized all our drinks in the fridge and I LOVE IT! It's so easy to grab a drink and go. Everything is visually appealing and even the girls can walk to the fridge with parent supervision and see what we have and choose. If you have space for a fridge just for drinks, I highly recommend it.
Washer/Dryer All In One:
This is our latest change and WHAT A DIFFERENCE laundry has been. I would always start the wash and completely forget about it, then remember it later and then I'm drying late and folding late. Then putting the clothes away gets neglected. It was a endless stressful cycle especially since I started doing at least one load a day. This all in one unit changed my laundry game. I put the load in in the morning when I wake up earlier, and by 9am it is washed and dried. Then I fold immediately in a basket and have all day to find 10 minutes to put the clothes away. I still only do one load a day when necessary. If this is something you want to change, this unit is the answer. We gained space in our laundry room and gained time and convenience. Literally a mom's dream. We bought ours from Home Depot brand GE. Private message me if you want to learn more about this product. Trust me when I say, this unit is a must have!
Consistent Donations:
I am a donating freak. In a good way. I like to get rid of things. Throw things away, donate, you name it. I am constantly filling bags of clothes and toys and donating. It has helped with clutter and things just laying around.
Dumpster:
We rent a dumpster at least once a year. Typically, early Spring. We get rid of things that broke in the last year, that we replaced and have been sitting in our garage, or that have not been used in a while and taking up space. A lot of it is old furniture and small items that have been sitting in boxes and picking up dust. I don't like to keep things if I don't have to. I like to get rid of things. Whether it is donating or throwing away, if I haven't used it for a while or it's broken, it's gone.
Date Night:
Every month, my husband and I get a babysitter and make a evening special for just us. We like to go to a restaurant and enjoy a delicious meal and some drinks together and just talk without the interruption of toddlers. I would love to do more than a month, and once a week we do spend an evening together at home but there's something special about going out, dressing up together and making a night super special. It has been really good for our marriage. We still go out with the girls too. We like to do Brunch on weekends together. But it's not the same. Our monthly date nights have been one of my favorite things to look forward to.
To-Do List:
At the beginning of every week, I write up a to-do list. It's a notepad that I keep on my fridge. I write down what I want or need to get done that week. I struggled with to-do lists because I would do it daily and constantly felt like I wasn't accomplishing enough because I wasn't getting the list completed every day. I lightened my expectations and instead of daily, my to-do list is now weekly and if I don't get everything done that week, I add it to the next week's to do list. If I have some extra time, I look at the list and pick one thing to do. Sometimes that one thing turns into two or three things. By creating a weekly to-do list, there's less pressure on myself. And I feel more accomplished but also show myself more grace. Some days I don't feel like doing anything and that's okay. Some days I knock out a lot on the list and that's okay too. It has given me choice when to get things done and that has been a huge game changer for me.
What little things have you changed in your home or relationships to make things seem less chaotic? Have you done, tried or used anything I've done? I'd love to know! Let's chat about it!
If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading!
Susana
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