I've gone from being a working mom as a teacher, to a stay at home mom, and now a work from home mom. All within 3 years. The past month embarking on a new journey as a work from home mom has been quite the learning experience. I'd like to share what I have learned with you and the differences between all three experiences as a mom.
Working mom:
This was when I first became a mom and life was insane because not only was I learning about what parenthood entailed, I was also teaching when we were still in a pandemic. I did virtual and face to face teaching. I also was moving and lived with my in-laws for a few months. It was a very busy and crazy time. I enjoyed every second of motherhood though. I had the entire summer with my new born before having to go back to school. A good 3.5 months with my baby. It was a dream. That was when I realized that I would love to be a stay at home mom. It wasn't an option for that year. We were unable to afford that kind of financial change.
I struggled with guilt though. I felt so guilty leaving my baby every morning. I wanted to be with her, I didn't want to go to work. It didn't feel right. I dreaded it every single day. I missed her so much. I think that affected the kind of teacher I was too. I was distracted. I struggled staying focused, I struggled loving my job. That year was hard enough as it was being the many changes we had to face with our students. There was no consistency that school year. I knew I didn't want to teach anymore. Luckily, a few months into the school year, my husband got a new job and everything changed for us. I was finally able to be a SAHM. I finished out that school year and went on parental leave. It was a dream come true. I was also pregnant at that time, so knowing I was having two under two, I mentally struggled with that and had no room to even think about a job. Staying home was the best decision I ever made for myself and for my family.
SAHM:
I had this vision of what a SAHM was going to be like. Like I had more time to clean, more time to participate in my own hobbies, more time to sleep. Man was I wrong. Especially with having two under two, my days were the complete opposite. I was nothing else but just mom. I felt like I lost a lot of my teacher friends, felt so distant from everyone because I was at home just trying to survive. That first year after my second was born was one of the hardest years of my life. I struggled mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I was unable to connect with others, and I completely lost myself. I don't know if that would've happened if I were still working as a teacher during that time. But what I do know is that being a SAHM is no walk in the park.
How can something I dreamed of, be a complete nightmare? I felt guilty for resenting my husband. I struggled to enjoy motherhood. I went through major changes that year, leaving a job, new routines, and a new baby all within a short amount of time. And majority of the time, I was alone. It was a challenge but I got through it. I came out stronger because of it. I realized how I needed to be for my children and also realized I was not okay mentally and needed to make a change. I realized I needed to make time for myself and work on myself to be the best mother my girls deserved.
I think the picture of what a SAHM is is very judged and misunderstood. You really don't know how difficult it is until you do it. And I mean do it for at least an entire year to really learn about what it entails. It's a tough job.
After that first year though, everything changed. When I started working on myself, noticing more of how I was feeling and figuring out what worked best for my little family, I started to enjoy and appreciate the SAHM experience with my girls. There's zero regret for leaving a job to focus on being just mom. I honestly felt like I would never miss a thing and that brought so much joy and happiness to my life. Yes, after a year, I still felt very lonely and isolated but at that point I was used to it. It was a part of my routine that I didn't think anything of it. Eventually, I started reaching out to people to plan visits and play dates. It took me time to get to that point though that I felt comfortable enough to do it by myself. Every time got easier and easier.
Work from home mom:
As a SAHM, I had a pretty good and predictable routine. Now that my girls are 2 and 3, I am able to figure out what part of my day am I able to sit down and work. My 2 year olds nap time is the perfect window. That's two good hours. She sleeps so well too so it's never an issue to put her down. My 3 year old does not nap. This is when a tablet comes in handy. She plays and also watches something on her tablet while I work. I am only a part-time worker though, and it's only ten hours a week, but it did change things for me. I have to make sure I eat a good lunch when my girls are eating. I work better when I have a good lunch. I also have to make sure that the dinner I have planned is easy to make on days we work. Crock pot meals for the win! I also needed a designated area. I have a desk and a spot that is known to be my work spot. The girls will always know where I am when I'm working. The hardest part is when I have a meeting. I need complete silence and away from distractions. Sometimes the meetings take place when my husband is home, sometimes it takes place when he is not home. I just have to be flexible. The balance was and still is hard. I do feel bad that during my two year olds nap time, I'm not giving my 3 year old as much attention as I used to. That used to be our one on one time together. She is obviously understanding and hangs out in the same room with me, but I do often feel guilty about. I don't think it bothers her one bit, I think it bothers me more than it bothers her.
Out of all 3 experiences, I think I enjoy being a work from home mom the most. Its still very new and it's only part-time but I enjoy the balance of being able to work but also being around my girls. Transitioning from a working mom to SAHM was way harder for me to adjust to then going from a SAHM to a WFHM. Overall, I thoroughly enjoy it.
What are you? Are you a SAHM, Working mom or WFHM? Have you transitioned from one to another? Share your experiences! I'd love to chat about it!
Thanks so much for reading,
Susana
Comments