Happiness

What is happiness? According to the official definition it is "an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment". I struggle with understanding exactly what makes one person happy. It is a term that describes how someone feels but not actually how their life is. Let me explain. Someone can feel happy, in a single moment in their life. But does that mean that they are actually happy in life? Fulfilled in life? Maybe not. It's such a vague statement and honestly an unrealistic expectation.

I feel happy with certain aspects of my life. Would I describe myself as an overly joyful person? Absolutely not. But there have been times that I tried to perceive myself as that, but deep inside I was not. I am going to share with you the few things in my life that make me feel "happy" and make me feel as if I am doing what's best for me to help me feel those "happy" moments.

Motherhood:

Let's be real. Motherhood is hard. I have expressed many times here on my blog and am upfront with people in my life about it because it is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Different stages of motherhood have been so incredibly rewarding but difficult at the same time. The birth of my babies for one is a blessing and joy I never thought possible. My second girl's birth story threw me through a whole new experience of birth trauma. It took me weeks to be able to communicate and share the experience with others. Took me weeks to process what even happened that morning she was born. When I share the story with others, it may seem I'm not happy. But that is far from the truth, it brought me closer to my baby more than ever because she gave me an experience that I grew stronger from. And even after she was born, she was colic and so many people gave up on her or diagnosed her issues. But I never did. I stayed up late hours with her, one thing after another trying to help her feel as content as possible. The many doctors appointments to help her. It was an emotional rollercoaster for me and my husband but we made it through. The hardest times seem like the faintest memory, and she is and always has been such a blessing. Was I protective of her because of her baby temperament? Absolutely. The joy she brought me despite the difficulties since the day she was born outweighs every negative moment. The nights I rock my babies/toddlers to sleep, the moments I sing to them, the times I take them to parks or stores solo, the activities, at the end of the day as exhausted as I am, my sweet girls bring me joy. Motherhood is a blessing. The days are long and hard but time is short. I am trying my best to enjoy the little things more than ever. I also chose this life. Once upon a time, this life I am currently living was a dream of mine. I am living one of my dreams come true. That is definitely something to be happy about.

Sibling Relationships:

I am starting to see a bond grow between my girls. They are starting to express their love for each other more and more every day. It is a beautiful thing to watch blossom. There are times that my two year old seeks comfort from my four year old when she feels sad. This makes her feel happy. She knows who to go to, who she can trust with her feelings other than mom and dad. It is exactly what I hoped would happened when I found I was pregnant with my second. I was blessed with 4 siblings. I have different relationships with all of them but one thing I can trust with my siblings is sharing experiences and feelings that they won't shame me for. Having siblings means having the potential special relationship in one's life. I say potential because not everyone's relationship with their siblings is the same. Or some don’t have siblings at all. I share similar experiences, similar childhoods, with my siblings. We were all treated differently. My siblings are more open to relate and more open to listen. Also, more open to be your biggest fan.

I get that with my siblings. Most of the time. Recently, I made some changes to my life and I wasn't feeling support. I was feeling excited about what was to come but wasn't feeling validated. I went to my siblings. I shared with them what I wanted and where I was going and they all in their own way was incredibly supportive. They knew I needed their support and they all gave it to me. Even if they didn't think it was the best decision. They were there for me. I am grateful for my siblings and their friendship brings me joy. When I feel, like really feel in my emotions, they are who I go to because I trust them with my feelings. This brings me happiness. Having people in my life that will always be in my corner. I know my siblings will always have my back and support me. I am lucky enough to have 4.

Hobbies:

This may sound silly, but having a hobby is so important to feel any sort of happiness. In my case, sharing fashion is a hobby. I believe everyone should have a hobby. I love sharing fashion because it is when I feel most like myself. After becoming a mom, my body changed and I struggled loving my body. I had to learn to appreciate what my body did for me. I started sharing fashion because I was in this journey rediscovering my style after becoming a mom and wanted to share that with others. After every video and post, I feel like I am making a change within myself. I am putting myself out there, sharing something that brings me joy but could also inspire others. It takes courage to do something like that, it sets up an audience that could love you or hate you. It opens up judgement but also brings changes in others. I decided when starting this journey, by ignoring the bad comments and realizing it is something I do for myself, it is fun and brings me so much happiness. I believe everyone should have a hobby. Something that inspires them and brings out the best in themselves. If you have found your hobby, go for it and go all in. Because in my case, it can be more than just a hobby and become a passion.

Friendships:

I have a select few friends in my life that I love spending time with. I will go out of my way for. And they will do the same for me. These friends of mine, that I give my entire soul to every time I see them would be considered long distance. So it takes work, planning and following through. But we are doing it and our friendship is stronger than ever. That brings me so much joy. Even though I in get to see them every few months, it fills my cup. I don’t need any other friends. Or friendships as close as what I have with them. I’m very lucky. I’d rather have a few good friends that is not a one sided relationship than a whole bunch of friends that barely know who I am.

Here is what I've learned about being happy. Make your own happiness. Make decisions for yourself, not what benefits others. Live life on your terms, your way. There will be people who will support you, and some who will not. Some who will stop talking to you all together. Some who up will make issues of your choices and some who will cheer for you. All in all, spend time with those who bring positive vibes to your life. Who lift you up and you want to do the same for them. Those people I'll feel happy around because they bring it out of me. Surround yourself with people who want you to be happy even if that happiness does not always involve them. That to me is true happiness.

What in your life fills your cup, brings you joy? Please share, I’d love to chat about it!

Thank you so much for reading!

Susana