Last weekend, was a special weekend in many ways. I flew to Florida, and spent the whole weekend with my sister that I don't get to see much. I ran (or more so walked) a 10K, and a half marathon through Disney World parks, and I was able to have a weekend not as mom, not as wife, but as myself. It was long overdue and very much needed.
Leaving was probably the most difficult. First, I cannot stand planes. I get extremely anxious. It's worse when I have to fly by myself. Luckily, I had my sister next to me, so that helped me. Also, when I left my house, it was during my second born's nap time, so I had to say goodbye to her before we put her down for nap. With my first born, I had to sneak out of the house to avoid a meltdown because "mommy was leaving". I did not get to give proper goodbyes and that was hard for me. Once I FaceTimed my girls after I landed (well mostly my second born and my husband), I felt better.
The rest of the weekend was amazing, lost a lot of sleep (woke up at 2:30am every day), but amazing. I honestly thought when I left that I would feel guilty, but I didn't and I still don't. I deserved that weekend. I deserved days away, and enjoying the time with my sister and myself. My husband deserved one on one time with our girls. My girls deserved the time with their daddy. I did not get phone calls and text messages every single second of the days I was away. We talked when we were able, we texted when we were able, and my husband sent pictures when he was able. It was relaxing and stress free (besides the takeoff and landing from flights).
We as moms often give so much of ourselves to others. We wake up for our kids, for work, for dinner on the table, for loving our husbands, and if you have a pet, taking of care of their needs as well. Since I became a mom, my needs was pushed to the back burner. And I mean needs as in occasional breaks, girls night out, dinner with a friend, anything I consider "me time". I remember the first time I had a hair appointment after my first was born. She was maybe 5 months old. I felt so guilty leaving. At the time, I was teaching as well. Luckily, I was teaching from home. So I was able to see my girl throughout the day when I wasn't teaching virtually, but it was still hard to leave. I missed her bedtime for the first time. After that, it did get a little easier, but changed again after my second was born. When my second was a newborn, I was unable to do anything. She never slept, she cried often in the evenings, and her feedings were very frequent. My husband would also go to sleep extremely early, so the evenings was all me. I did not even think about leaving an evening until after we sleep trained her.
I did have a weekend around the time my second was 5 weeks old, that I flew to Iowa for my brother's wedding. My husband was with me. That was the first weekend away from my girls, and it was a hard one. I wouldn't call that weekend stress free like the weekend I had last week. They were very different. Plus, the weekend was filled with wedding festivities, that I didn't do anything for myself. Again, very different weekend. So I would say last weekend was the first weekend for myself. It's not something I would do often, maybe twice a year I could plan a weekend like that. It will become something I will make an effort to plan for myself. I felt recharged when I came home. I of course missed my girls, and missed my husband. I did not miss having to make dinner every night, going out to eat was a real treat. I did not miss having cries from one of my girls waking me up early in the morning. When I woke up, I was able to get ready for whatever we were going to do with zero interruptions. I did not have to clean the carpet after food dropped on it after every meal. I didn't have to pack diaper bags, or plan meals when going out to eat. I had a mental break.
I highly recommend moms, do this. Find someone, a girlfriend, cousin, sister, your mom, and plan a weekend. Go to your favorite place, eat your favorite food, have a few drinks, and give yourself a break, a mental break. Make time for yourself. I did not realize how important it is to do that.
If you have had a weekend like this, or will have a weekend like this, tell me all about it! I'd love to chat about it!
Thank you so much for reading!
Susana
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