I decided that at least once a month, I should celebrate something that I consider a "Mom Win". I too often put a lot of pressure on myself and have been more since I became a mom. However, there are things that I am proud of and want to share with you. I got the idea from a podcast I listen to. It's called BIG FAT POSITIVE. It is led by two moms from the LA area. They're awesome. I have learned so much from them. Anyways, they do different segments and once in a while they a segment called "Mom Wins" and they share with each other something they consider a mom win! I decided to do the same thing with my blog, in hopes that you'll respond with some mom wins yourself. I am going to share what my husband would consider a "mom win" and then what I think is a "mom win". It's always fun hearing my husband's perspective on things.
My husband's "Mom Win":
Just out of curiosity, I asked my husband what he thought a "mom win" would be for me. He went with most recent events that I have a very emotional and sensitive toddler and an 11 month old. So things in this house can get crazy. I am home with my girls all day, managing a lot. My husband said a mom win for me that he has witnessed is managing my two year old's meltdown after meltdown all while taking care of an 11 month old. That meant so much to me that he said that because majority of the time, I feel completely defeated during my two year old's meltdowns and feel as if I am not giving my 11 month old enough attention. It's hard. I do try my absolute best to balance my attention between the two, but when a meltdown happens (which is ALL THE TIME), I feel completely torn. There was actually a day last week my husband came home from work. It was a really rough day. I think there were about 20 meltdowns before lunchtime. Nothing I could do seemed to calm her down, except rubbing her arm and talking to her calmly until she was able to gather her big feelings, stop crying and give me a hug. That could last 5 minutes, and some can last 30 plus minutes. I never know what I'm going to get. I just try to stay calm and patient during each meltdown and offer her my support the entire time. Anyways, my husband comes home while my infant is napping and I'm holding my toddler because I just calmed her down from a very long meltdown. And he asks if he could golfing on Friday. I immediately started to cry. It wasn't the fact that he asked to go golfing, it was because I felt so exhausted from the day that all I could think to do at that moment was cry. He of course felt bad, because poor timing on his part. But it was fine. Sometimes moms just need a good cry. So my husband's mom win for me is how I handle the meltdowns. The patience I show and how I stay calm, while giving attention to my 11 month old too. Thank you, that meant so much to me to hear.
My Mom Win:
As I mentioned before, I have a very sensitive toddler. We had to be very strategic with a lot of things that were being introduced to her. For example, the tablet. She received one for her 2nd birthday. We are not strict on screen time, we actually love it. Where are all my BLUEY fans at??? Anyways, when we started giving her the tablet, we did not have structure time to it, we would just give it to her and then when it would be time to take it away, she would have a meltdown. I did not like how dependent and attached she was getting, so I tried to think of a change. I will not take all the credit for this because her pediatrician did give me the idea at a previous appointment for something else. I decided to start using a timer. Has anyone ever used a timer for transition time? I know a lot of teachers have. I have as a teacher. It sets the expectation beforehand, and makes it very known when moving on to the next task. With screen time, we don't usually have the TV or tablet on in the morning and up to lunchtime. After lunch, I give my toddler her tablet, I have her sit in a comfy spot of her choice, and I set the timer. I got an easy one to use from Amazon. I hold the timer in front of her and tell her "You have ____ minutes, and when the timer goes off, it's nap time". This was of course before we dropped her nap. It took a few days. The first two days, she cried. But the third day, she would give me a thumbs up when I told her my expectation, and she would hand me the tablet when the timer went off. Now, she turns the timer off herself. She has watched me do it so many times, she knows how to do it. We have had zero meltdowns after taking away the tablet. That is my mom win, and I am so proud of it.
Now that we have dropped the nap, all I say now is "you have ____ minutes, and when the timer goes off, we are putting the tablet away". She has adjusted well to no nap, and still does well with the timer too. If you have a highly sensitive toddler like mine, seriously, introduce the timer. It works like a charm.
Explain to your partner, family member, and/or friend what a "mom win" is and then ask them to give you an example of a "mom win" that they have witnessed you do. It's a way to keep things positive and enjoy the good things about being a parent. Let me know what they say or what you consider to be a mom win! Let's celebrate it together!!
Thank you for reading!
Susana
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