This topic is so hard to talk about but also so common. I have lost three pets in my lifetime. Some were harder to handle than others. I am going to talk about each pet and what it was like to lose them.
Caesar:
Caesar was my first pet I remember. He was in my life at a very young age. My family lived in Williamsport for the first few years of my life before we moved when I was 4 years old. Caesar was in that home with us and moved with us. Caesar was not very nice. I am actually drawing a blank in what kind of dog he was. He was a small dog breed and a gray hair color. He did not like people. Which sucked for him because my parents had 5 kids running around. He also did not like ANYONE near his food. I remember walking to the refrigerator, his dog bowls were right by the refrigerator, he did not like I got near his food, so he bit my foot. Little shit. I remember him as our first family pet, but I also remember how mean he was.
When he passed, I was too young to really understand, but it still affected me. I remember crying on the stairs because I did not understand why he wasn't with us anymore. I don't even remember how my parents handled it with us, but as a young kid, losing a pet was very difficult. It did teach me about death though. That was the first "death" experience in my childhood that affected me.
Peanut:
Peanut was my next family pet. She was a little sweetie. She was a Blonde colored Yorkie. We all absolutely LOVED her. She was very different from Caesar. She loved being held, loved jumping on our laps, loved cuddling, loved sleeping with us, she was the best. She didn't bite us when we went near her food either (lol).
Anyways, the way she passed was hard on our entire family. I remember the day clearly. I was living home, a year after I graduated from College. I was home by myself. She hasn't been herself for a while. She lost sight in one of her eyes the year prior and months before her passing, she was having a lot of accidents in the house. She wasn't able to control her bowl movements. She also was not eating as much and sleeping most of the time. Definitely not as playful either. I was home by myself one evening, watching TV in our kitchen. I had my dog with me Kory, and peanut was sleeping in her cage. All of a sudden I hear peanut moaning, like a loud moan. I look over and her entire body was stretch out and her head flopped backwards. Peanut was having a seizure. I didn't know what to do in that moment, I completely froze by her cage. I didn't know if I should pick her up, support her head, I didn't know anything. I just started to cry. I tried calling my family. No one was answering their phones. My sisters finally walked through the door, and ran to help me and peanut. I have never experienced anything like that before. Peanut was at her weakest moment, and I felt completely helpless.
We finally got a hold of my parents, we took her to her Vet. She was still alive, but completely paralyzed. There was nothing we could do to save her. My parents chose to move forward with euthanization. We all stood in the room as she laid on the table. We all had a hand on her until her last breath. Many MANY tears that night as we said goodbye to Peanut. I was 23 when it happened. That was one of the sadest moments of my life. I think the hardest part of the whole evening was not the actual passing, but when she had her seizure and I was home by myself.
Kory:
I am going to try and tell Kory's story without crying because this one is hard for me. Kory was MY dog. My first pet that belonged to me. My first pet that was all my responsibility. I was his mom, he was my baby boy. Kory was a mix breed. He was a yorkshire terrior/jack russell terrior mix. He was about 9lbs pounds when I first adopted him. I adopted him in September of 2012. He was about a year and a half. He was not the cutest dog, in fact he had part of his ear chewed off when I adopted him. He was found in a puppies mill and was placed in the Humane League of Lancaster County. The Humane League was overfilled with animals because of the Puppies Mill, that they had a huge sale weekend. I was living with a couple roommates, but they were still in college and I was working at a nearby childcare center. I was far from my family and friends, so I chose to adopt a pet for company. I took advantage of the sale and headed over to the Humane League. I saw him in the cage with 4 other dogs, chose him, we went into a visiting room together, and he instantly jumped on my lap and kissed my hand. I knew he was the dog for me at that very moment. I adopted him that night and took him home with me. Since then, he did everything with me. Every time I drove home to visit family, went with me to my grandparents house, was with me in 6 different homes, was with me when I got married, with me when I had my first baby, and with me when I was pregnant with my second. He was with me when Peanut passed too. For days after her passing, he would lay by her cage. It was so sad and sweet. They were buddies.
It was May 17th, 2021. I was pregnant with my second, and just celebrated my 31st birthday over the weekend. Kory was not right over the weekend. 2 years prior was diagnosed with heart disease. It wasn't bad yet, but manageable. Anyways, that weekend, we were concerned. His breathing was out of control, it seemed as if he was gasping for air. So I took him to the emergency clinic. There they told me I had two options, I can try a breathing treatment overnight and see if that helps his lungs, or euthanize him because it is most likely a valve that burst and that is fatal. It was a pretty penny, but after talking to my husband, we decided to try the breathing treatment. I don't think I would have been able to live with the fact that we didn't try to give him a chance. The next morning, I got a phone call as I was getting ready for work. They updated me on his breathing treatment and said nothing got better, but nothing worse either. There was fluid around his lungs and the valve most likely burst because the treatment did not work. At that moment, I decided it was time to let Kory go. I informed the Vet that I would be by after school to euthanize Kory. My husband left work to be with me too.
They placed us in a private room. Everything was quiet. I had to complete some paper work, and decided to cremate Kory too. Minutes later, they brought Kory in the room. He was wrapped in a towel and had an oxygen mask over his face. He was so drugged up, he didn't know who I was. It was so extremely difficult to see him in that state, I was a complete mess. I could not stop crying, my chest hurt from crying so much. I sat in the chair and Kory laid on me as they moved forward with euthanizing him. The gentleman doing it was so calm and so nice. He went through each step with me explaining what was going to happen. I could feel Kory's heart slowly beating, and slower and slower, until it stopped. My husband and I started to cry together. It felt like I lost a part of me. Kory's death is and will always be the hardest I had to go through. I still to this day, cry because he is no longer by my side. When I adopted him, it was just me and him. He was my everything. Honestly, I feel like I needed him more than he needed me. He wasn't the nicest dog, and had extreme anxiety, but he was still special to me and he will always have a special place in my heart.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry while writing this post. Losing a pet just sucks, but is also inevitable. I have three pets in my life that I lost and it seemed as I got older, it got harder. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when we lose the Great Dane we have now. For my husband, I know it will be extremely difficult because our Great Dane is his dog. I will admit, I struggle with the idea of getting another pet in the near future. I don't want to go through what I went through with Kory. With Peanut and Caesar, I was sad, but with Kory, I was heartbroken. After Kory passed, I kind of pushed myself away from Bruce, our Great Dane. It was like I shut myself away from possibly feeling that pain again. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous and at first I didn't realize I was doing it until my husband pointed it out to me and said that I've been isolating myself from Bruce. Since he brought that to my attention, I have been trying to be better about it.
I would love to hear about your pet stories. All the good and the sad. These things aren't easy to talk about and to experience, but it is also good to support each other and hug the pain we do experience when losing a pet.
Thank you so much for reading!
Susana
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