Today was just another day, getting my girls ready to go to the park. We usually go to a park about .6 miles from our house. I like to walk there but since my husband had the stroller in his car, I decided to change things up and go to a park a few miles away. It is a MUCH bigger park. Taller, wider, more options. It’s definitely made for bigger kids. I’ve seen parents walk on the equipment with their child for safety reasons.
I am usually very anxious at the park, or a big park like this one when I am parenting solo. It is so much easier to go to the park with the assistance of my husband. We can tag team. Makes the experience way less anxiety ridden. I have been told by some parents, people I don’t know and do know that it’s okay to let your child fall on the playground, it’s how they learn. I don’t believe in that. I believe it is my job to keep my children safe and by allowing them to get hurt just so they can learn doesn’t seem like a safe and good idea to me. So when I go to the park, I have a set of rules the girls are expected to follow. They usually do. Rules as in, walking feet on the large equipment, slide down on bottom, take turns or wait your turn, no ladders without supportive bars, and be kind to everyone. If another child says something to you that you don’t like or hurts your feelings, tell them you didn’t like what they said to you and then walk away from them. You’re not obligated to play with kids at the park, especially if they aren’t nice to you. These “rules” have made a very nice park experience.
Today, when I went to the park, I noticed another parent drop off their kid. Maybe her kid was around 5 years old? Her mom stayed in the car while her child played. I have never seen this before! It’s pretty amazing a parent trusts their kid as much as they do that they are comfortable with sitting in the car while they play but also the other parents around too. We live in a pretty safe area so I am not too concerned about that but you never know who is creeping around. Luckily it is a fenced in park. I do wonder though if 5 is the magic age when it comes to playgrounds. I still have to help my 2 year old up the high stairs, or reminders to slide down on their bottom. To trust your kid at the playground to sit in the car while they play is intriguing to me and sounds like a very relaxing experience. That parent is hanging out in her car, and I’m carrying my two year old out of the park while she’s having a meltdown. At that moment, sitting in the car sounded luxurious. I feel like when my girls are older, I probably won’t sit in the car. I may be able to sit on the bench, or at the table or just walk around to get some steps in while they play. I think I want to be present even if they don’t need me anymore. I don’t know, I’m curious, what would you do when your child becomes more independent at the playground?
Anyways, I got a long way to go until it is time for me to feel a little less anxious at the playground. I did however get to enjoy my coffee during. I actually was able to drink it so that is progress for sure. At least for me!
One thing I like to do when going to the playground is making sure there is at least one snack. So if they need a break, they can also eat a little snack. Also water or Gatorade. I also do not allow toys. They are at the age that losing a toy happens too often. They are also possessive of their toys. So if another child tried to play with a toy they brought, I don’t think it would go over very well. When it’s time to go, I give them a verbal warning. I typically say “okay, we are going to leave soon, you can have two more slides”. So they know two more slides and then it’s time to go. It usually works out very well. And since I do it every time, they know what to expect when I say it’s time to go. However, today my two year decided to test the expectations. As a typical two year old would do. She did her two slides then decided she didn’t want to move. So she parked her bottom on the mulch and said “I’m not leaving, leave me alone”. Yes. She’s a feisty one. I then gave her two options and said, you can leave this park holding my hand or you can leave this park getting picked up. She chose holding hand. She stood up and started walking. By the time we were getting closer to the exit of the playground and to the parking lot, I reminded her that she would hold my hand or be held to the car. She still chose hand but at this point she didn’t want to hold it anymore. She was tired, and just wanted to stay. So of course I ended up picking her up due to the many MANY times refusing to move or walk to the car. Meanwhile, my 4 year old is just standing there patiently waiting. If I had two meltdowns during this time, I don’t know what I would’ve done. Maybe hold them both while screaming. I eventually got my two year old in the car and she was crying and very sad. I know I am not the only one to experience that. I had to hold my ground though because if I didn’t follow through, my two year old controlled the situation and that is not a good lesson to teach. I kept calm, set my expectations, gave her choices and opportunities and she chose the opposite. At that moment, just getting her buckled into her car seat was a win! She eventually calmed down and we were able to talk about her emotions during the end of the playground time. But it was a lot at first. The funny thing is, not a single parent seemed bothered by her behavior. It was like everyone understood and had been in a similar situation themselves. No one tried to step in, there was a clear boundary that was respected by all parents. When a child is having a meltdown, and a parent is trying to work through that meltdown with their child. Never EVER step in.
Is there a favorite playground you like to take your children? Do you ever feel anxious at larger playgrounds or any playground? Let me know, I’d love to chat about it!
Comments